Jewish Divorce Law, and the Problem of Gets

Jacob grew up in a non-practicing Jewish Canadian family but had become more devout to after his marriage to a religious Jewish American woman. Jacob and his family subscribed to Judaism’s Hasidic movement, an Orthodox sect that stresses direct contact and emotional connection with God, rather than intellectual studying of scriptures. Jacob and his wife married under Orthodox Jewish law, and the couple soon moved with their children to Israel’s holy city of Safed. Eventually, domestic issues brought the marriage to an end, and Jacob and his wife quarreled over divorce proceeding when the latter demanded all of the couple’s assets. Frustrated, Jacob left his wife and children in Israel and returned to Canada with the divorce proceedings still unresolved.

Under Orthodox Jewish law, only men are permitted to provide their wives with religious divorces, called “gets”. While less religious Jews are often content with civil divorces (which can be initiated by either party), religious Jewish women must receive a get if they desire to remarry within Jewish law¹. Women whose husbands have refused to grant them gets are referred to as “agunot”, meaning “chained wives”, and are effectively left in marital limbo until they can provide their husbands with sufficient incentives to allow the divorce². Such incentives may be financial or legal (husbands may agree to allow gets in exchange for favorable child support decisions). Husbands residing in Israeli may be imprisoned until offering a get, though men who do not reside in Israel are not subject to such laws. Alternatively, wives might opt for more threatening form “persuasion”… unfortunately for Jacob.

On an otherwise uneventful day, a large man with a beard and black hat knocked on the door of Jacob's remote island home near Vancuver, Canada. The man was employed by the Israeli religious authorities to get Jacob to provide his wife with a get. Initially congenial, the enforcer asked politely for Jacob to sign the consent to divorce and they discussed the issue in a civilized matter – until Jacob read over the papers and saw, again, that his wife was asking for all of the marriage assets. Upon Jacob’s refusal to sign the divorce agreement, the Jacob’s highly unwelcome guest began breaking objects and issuing threats.

Luckily for Jacob, his neighbor (who happened to be a cop) heard the commotion and dropped by, settling the dispute and forcing the individual to retreat.

Orthodox Jewish religious authorities are starting to pay heed to stories like those of Jacob and his wife. In a world where men like Jacob are willing to live in hiding rather than agree to divorce terms they find unfair, and women like Jacob’s wife are forced to spend their lives in a sort of marital prison, many rabbis are pushing couples to sign Jewish prenuptial agreement, also referred to as halakhic agreements, before they wed.

Under these specific prenuptial agreements, couples agree to have all of the religious elements of their marriage decided by Jewish rabbinical courts, meaning that rabbinical law could prevent husbands from using gets to extort money or privileges, and could forestall the extreme measures that women (such as Jacob’s wife) might take to receive a get. In addition, the agreement dictates that husbands must give their wives $150 USD per day during divorce negotiations, meaning that women have some form of financial support during negotiations, and also providing husbands with an incentive to offer their wives a get sooner, rather than later³.

Jacob has since retired to Thailand, where he continues to avoid Thailand’s small but closely-knit Jewish community out of fear of a second reprisal from Israeli religious authorities. His wife is still in Israel, unable to either divorce or remarry according to her religious beliefs. Until prenuptial agreements become mainstream, or even required by Orthodox Jewish rabbis, couples like Jacob and his wife will continue to live in limbo, bound by the chains of tradition.

1. “Where Divorce Can be Denied, Orthodox Jews Look to Prenuptial Contracts”, March 16, 2012, http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/17/us/orthodox-jews-look-to-prenuptial-contracts-to-address-divorce-refusals.html.

2. The Organization for the Resolution of Agunot, http://www.getora.com/index.htm.

3. “Where Divorce Can be Denied, Orthodox Jews Look to Prenuptial Contracts”, March 16, 2012, http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/17/us/orthodox-jews-look-to-prenuptial-contracts-to-address-divorce-refusals.html

Divorce Refusal and the Thuggish Side of Jewish Marriage Law