by guest blogger Jay Acton
At least four youths committed suicide in the U.S. last month following incidents of anti-gay harassment and bullying. In California, thirteen-year-old Sean Walsh died nine days after a suicide attempt left him hospitalized on life support. In Texas, thirteen-year-old Asher Brown took his own life after revealing he was gay, following months of alleged bullying. In Indiana, Billy Lucas, a fifteen-year-old hung himself after also being harassed by his classmates. And Tyler Clementi, a New Jersey college student, jumped to his death from a bridge last week after two classmates, including his roommate, posted a video of him having sexual intercourse with another male in his dorm room.
When such a tragic series of events take place, the question on most of our lips is why? Looking deeper than the surface causes of bullying and harassment, which in the New Jersey case seems to have been unintentional, we have to confront suicide as a cultural phenomena. Looking at the statistics from an article on gay teen suicide in America in the Huffington Post, we see that of all American teens that die by their own hand, 30 percent are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning (LGBTQ). These statistics suggest that LGBTQ youth are four times more likely to commit suicide than their heterosexual counterparts.
So what drives LGBTQ youth in the US to take this most extreme measure? In the so-called land of the free, it’s no secret that Christian conservatism is at the forefront of the war against gay rights, whether the issue be gay marriage, or the military’s don’t ask don’t tell policy. Could religion be to blame for not only a lack of understanding and acceptance of LGBTQ youth in the U.S., but the outwardly offensive behavior of some of its citizens?
Of course the sources of anti-gay vitriol aimed at LGBTQ is more widespread than the churches. I suspect that it is at least partly a result of the social pressures in U.S. schools, with students jockeying for position and using any kind of leverage over another student to increase their social status. According to the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education network (GLSEN), nine out of ten LGBT students experience some type of harassment at school. Educational institutes often serve as the setting where the kind of bravado displayed by both male and female peers in the quest for status is used to cover their own insecurities. This is not to separate the fundamentalist Christian attitude from the phenomena, as this may well be where these schoolyard behaviors find some kind of vindication.
In contrast, Thailand is a country where LGBTQ identifying individuals are readily accepted in society. Incidents of violence, bullying and harassment against LGBTQ youth do occur, but are infrequent, and seem to be due more to situational conflicts than an ingrained cultural bias. There are not many reports of gay suicide in Thailand.
The Thai national religion of Buddhism and its proponents do not demagogue against minorities in the way that U.S. fundamentalist Christian leaders are want to do. On the contrary, the style of Thai Buddhism is far more one of acceptance of all kinds of minorities, which may well explain the cheerful, tolerant nature of the Thai people and their attitudes towards LGBTQ identifying individuals.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
In America, even though same-sex marriage rights have been granted to a few states (Vermont, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, etc.) and the government has imposed several legislative measures to protect gays and lesbian’s rights, it seems futile. Large groups of opponents like the Roman Catholic Church, National Organization for Marriage and some other conservatives still don’t have the mindset to embrace the concept of homosexuality as moral.
Revision of US laws is inadequate to educate people about gays and lesbians. The root of the problem is not clear, but the following is very clear: the subconscious depression and stress suffered by Americans in general, and the misconception of “violence and aggressiveness as the fastest way to achieve a solution,” is a culturally accepted thought pattern in America. If this type of negative mindset is properly addressed, incidents like the school shooting at Virgina Tech by a senior Korean Student , the Tyler Clementi suicide case, etc. would not occur on a recurring basis.
Similar to the States, Thailand has taken some legal measure in protecting gays’ rights, and discrimination toward gays still exist in both countries. In the Gay Times, an online-magazine based in London, an article indicates that Thailand still deems gay and lesbian identities as a Western concept and does not fit this into traditional Thai culture. Many gays still face family pressure and domestic violence. And if public affection is overtly expressed between two men in Thailand, it is fairly certain that they might receive a frown or a disgusted look.
But Tyler Clementi’s case might have been taken differently if it had happened in Thailand. Thailand’s tolerance toward homosexual and transsexuals ranked No.1 in the world, and you can see their involvement in soap operas, ads, and all sorts of media. Bangkok, for instance, hosted the first international conference on Asian’s gay, lesbian, and transgender communities and ran a 3-day gay festival as a tacit welcome to the gay tourists.
I am far too familiar with the rigors of school yard bullying, physical confrontations and Christian ideology telling me that the way I was born is unacceptable and punishable. Upon maturing and discovering myself at an early age through global education and world travels I understood that there are many views and cultural beliefs different than those of the Christian right.
I made a life change 9 months ago to reside in Thailand. The deciding factor, despite a love for the culture is the high tolerance Thai people have toward gay people. While being gay is accepted overall here in Thailand, one fact expressed through many of my gay Thai friends is that friends, co-workers and most importantly family all know they are gay, but it is NEVER talked about. Acceptance does not exist when we “sweep things under the rug.”
Open communication is fundamental to allowing gay, lesbian and transgender individuals to adjust and discover their true identify in life. Dialogue within the family unit is paramount in this battle. The world has a long way to come before we see full acceptance, an end to gay youth and adult suicides and a full understanding towards gay people globally.
Though am not happy about suicidal behaviour by gays but i dont support their behaviour and infact i support religious leader on their opposition of this behaviour! Its an acceptable to urge the church or other religion to be torelant to this customs
Because Buddhism (an Oriental religion) is the polar opposite of Christianity (an Occidental religion) its unlikely gays in the U.S. or any westernized culture will ever experience true equality. Sad but true. Morality is beyond the pale of legislation, it has to be taught from a very young age and the culture as a whole must be indoctrinated. That’s just not the case with gay acceptance in the U.S. and most westernized cultures but it IS the case in cultures like Thailand where tolerance is the norm and revered. We don’t teach it in the U.S. We teach fear and shame and guilt and revulsion and then try to overcome that teaching with laws and protests. Its like trying to un-ring a bell. Good luck. The problem is not the laws; its the orthodoxy they’re based on: intolerance and fear.
Well, I think there is a great misunderstanding of Thailand. I lived there for two years, and I’ll try to paint a picture.
The people are the kindest, most friendly people you will ever meet. They call it the land of smiles. If you need help most of the time they’ll try and help you or find someone that can help you. This kind attitude seems to spring from how they’ve developed from Buddhism. They believe that simply if you do good, then youll receive good in life. Also if they do more good than bad in this life, then youll be reincarntated with a better life.
Another value to them is family. Even if you arent “blood” family, there is a sense of belonging to the family of Thailand. They take pride in being Thai, in being Buddhist, in being different from europeans and americans.
With that said, there seems to be a misunderstanding about Thai people and intolerance. On one level they are very tolerant. On another not so much. The comment that Thai’s frown on gay’s being demonstrative in public about their love is a biased comment. Thai’s ALSO frown on straight people being demonstrative in public. Thai people are very touchy-feely and it doesnt mean theyre gay for a man to touch a man in the high thigh area, but once it becomes sexual or kissing becomes involved then that activity is taboo for public. I cannot recall in my two years walking around all sorts of life seeing two people gay or straight kissing. Especially, once people start dating it is hard to see the couple put arms around each other. It’s something they just don’t do.
Another important point is that Thai’s do not view it as a western idea. I think they accept that feelings and thoughts for another of the same sex is real. As I recall, it is the #1 place in the world for transgender operations. When they distinguish between western ideas and theirs, it’s not how we think what is western or what is eastern. Rather it is what is buddhist, and what is christian. Their culture is unseparably tied to buddhism, and if you bring in christianity, they often feel it is stepping on their thai culture because the christianitiy is stepping on their buddhism. Therefore the idea that gay’s is a “western” idea doesnt really cross their mind.
I also want to make comment about acceptance. Acceptance doesnt mean that you have to talk about something. I accept many things, but I dont talk about it except when I am learning about it. Once I have accepted it though in my heart and mind then usually I dont bring it up any more. So when Thai people accept right off the bat that you are gay, then why does there need to be a long dialogue or debate. That level of openess is just foreign to westerners who feel that everything needs to be talked to death. For them it’s you want to believe and live that way, sure go ahead. And that’s how I live too.
Now with all this tolerance, there is a lesson for western folks to learn, but probably never will because we are too arrogant. Gay(sexual orientation) people get made fun of all the time. Fat(Appearance) people get made fun of all the time. White people(Race) get made fun of all the time. Farting and burping can be a laugh. We in the west get embarrassed or raise our war standard when any of these things get threatened or teased about. The Beijing olympics, I was told by some thai people that the australians pulled their eyes slanted to impersonate chinese. The chinese got a kick out of it, but the americans and europeans were in outrage. Westerners need to learn that there is something called intent and that is to enjoy life, to be happy, and that have a laugh with anything. It will make you a happier person. I’m a skinny guy, but I laugh with small jokes. I don’t get offended that I am smaller than the norm and Im being used for the expense of everyones fun. I say all of this to teach the following about tolerance. Tolerance is about the heart and the love you have amidst what you do. In our culture there are some things we cannot say simply because it “offends” someone. Some people simply choose to be offended. You could give your best effort to avoid saying something offensive, but it may still fail. If we in western culture just relaxed and said hey what was in their heart? Oh he’s just trying to have a laugh, he loves gay people so he wasn’t hating on them, so his intent was more her(gay person) to have a laugh too, to cheer up her day. If we had that attitude, I believe we’d see a lot of tension decrease. Yes ther’d still be bozo’s out there that are intolerant bigots but the numbers of those groups would decrease with time, because we as society would have turned a corner to be really act tolerantly instead of speaking and legislating it like we are now.